It has been said that every successful laboratory must have a Gnome.  I believe this statement to be false, but we have one anyway.  According to Wil Huygen's books, "Gnomes", "Secrets of the Gnomes" and "The Complete Gnomes", these creatures are a very widespread species, known to a number of human races.  Germans name them Erdmännlein, except in the Alpine areas, where they are called Heinzelmännchen.  Gnomes are usually an average of 15 centimeters tall, but with their cap on, can appear much taller. Gnome's feet are somewhat pigeon toed which gives them an extra edge on speed and agility through the wood and grass. Male Gnomes weigh 300 grams, and female is 250-275 grams.  A male Gnome wears a peaked red cap, a blue brown-green pants, and either felt boots, birch shoes, or wooden clogs. Around their waist is a belt with a tool kit attached, holding a knife, hammer, etc. They are fair of face, though they boast rosy red cheeks. Long beards adorn their faces and turn gray far sooner than their hair. Males are the guardians of animal kind and show little preference for their animal friends, not withstanding their aversion to cats both wild and domesticated. They are known for freeing wildlife from man's traps and for operating on farm animals whose owners have neglected them or who are simply to poor to afford a veterinarian. Their enemies are mainly Trolls, and other beings who would try to destroy them or their homes; otherwise, they are mostly peaceful beings.  Gnomes tend to live in hilly meadows and rocky woodlands. Most Gnomes are seven times stronger than a man, can run at speeds of 35 miles per hour, and have better sight than a hawk. Because of their love for animals, all the animals of the forest are the Gnome's friends and are willing to help him at any time. Many people say that Gnomes have elevated practical jokes to an art form. But most especially they love gems and jewelry and are considered by many to be the best gem cutters in existence.  They are generally vegetarian and never worry. The main meal consists of: Nuts (hazelnuts, beechnuts, etc), mushrooms, peas, beans, a small potato, applesauce, fruit, berries (all kinds), tubers, spices, vegetables, and preserves for dessert. As a beverage, the gnome drinks mead dew (fermented honey), fermented raspberries (which have a very high alcohol content), and spiced gin as a nightcap.   

Fritz was brought to the Nizet Laboratory in early Summer 2004, plucked from the Bavarian countryside by new Postdoctoral Fellow, Sascha Kristian.  Placed centrally by the telephone and plasmid mini-prep kits, Fritz is well-situated to bring good cheer to lab members and visitors alike.  Perhaps reflecting his magical and jocular nature, Fritz has begun to undergo some mysterious late night transformations.  Whether this phenomenon will continue is known only to Fritz, but we will endeavor to record it here for the benefit of hypothesis-driven gnomological investigation.